Grandma and grandma archetypes
Someone shared with me recently a natural, simple remedy for cat allergies: suck on a lemon.
I tried it. It occurred to me that the “spiritual” origin of my allergic reaction might be that I am a sourpuss.
It was actually a lime I used.
Don’t get scurvy.
Thank you, Tumblrs, for all your likes and reblogs on my original cover mock-up! You can now buy How Not to Be a Dick at Barnes & Noble, Urban Outfitters, and Books-A-Million nationwide NOW ON SALE FOR HOLIDAY SHOPPING! You can also find it online at Amazon.com. It would make the perfect, fun, and inexpensive holiday gift.
Thank you all, again! <3 <3
Why are there so many doggie breath mints but none for cats
Why are all treats and food for cats salmon and tuna flavored
Where did we get the idea that fish is a cat’s natural diet
Cats don’t swim? Cats don’t fish?
Cats don’t like water
Why are there no breath mints for cats
Why are there dog parks but no cat parks
Where do cats go to socialize
I love Slate for providing the perfect holiday social media share for the cynical do-gooder.
But sometimes your light attracts moths, and your warmth attracts parasites. Protect your space and energy.
Warsan Shire (via aestheticintrovert)
I’ve been looking for a new phrase for “love” of this kind. I think this works. It saved me from discarding the entire thing:“At the same time real love is a don’t-touch, yet still an almost-touching. Tact itself: a phantom touching.”
Helene Cixous, “The Love of the Wolf”
I had another dream last night that someone put me on a stage in front of John Hagee and that other televangelist from the 80’s—the one who was stealing and there was this big scandal—I forget his name and am not going to look it up. I think his wife, after that, got this following amongst transgendered people/drag queens. It was kind of cool, she wasn’t all crazy preachy, just like, hey, they’re like me—love big hair and lots of colorful make-up!
Anyway. I wasn’t allowed to say anything. Apparently, the organizer didn’t like vegans sending his mom hate mail for being one of these (texas televangelist-type) people. I told him I wanted to take a picture of them because my dad is a fan of John Hagee. I felt myself losing my soul because all I wanted to say was how I thought vegetarianism was a legitimate path to transcendence, but I couldn’t sing my two songs anymore. They were inappropriate. I felt a Dolly Parton cover might actually be more appropriate. Or some old time country hymn. But I didn’t know any.
Note: This post is not against John Hagee. He does talk a lot about hell, but so do I (even though not quite in the same way) and have watched him often out of fascination. And my dad really is a fan. I’d totally take a picture with him if I met him in person. Or Tammy Faye Bakker. Her son and Dharma Punx’ Noah Levine should totes hang out. They are like the same person.